One evening a week, Sarah Wittmeyer has been gathering with a group of women at Highland Avenue of the Brethren Church in Elgin, IL to share stories—of becoming, of growing into who they are, of weighing challenges, or just sharing a bit about themselves.
All the stories are intentional, personal and spontaneous. A nurse in the home health department at Advocate Health, Sarah started the group, “Sacred Stories,” almost two years ago following the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown. Her goal was inspired both personally and by patients isolated in their homes.
“I wanted to address feelings of social disconnection in my own life and knowing others might feel the same,” says Sarah, mother of four adult children. “The idea is that everyone has a story to tell and that all our stories are sacred.”
Narrative Spiritual Care
As it turns out, sharing stories in a safe and sacred space underscores what spiritual and world leaders are dubbing “narrative ministry,” or “narrative spiritual care,” the idea is growing to create non-judgmental places where women and all people can be vulnerable and support each other, while also tapping into a deeper spirituality together.
Mary Clark Moschella says in the Christian Century: “More and more, I am persuaded that a narrative focus offers students, chaplains, pastors, and other practitioners one of the best resources available for the meaning-making work of spiritual care.” Mary teaches pastoral care and counseling at Yale Divinity School and is the author of Ethnography as a Pastoral Practice: An Introduction and Caring for Joy: Narrative, Theology, and Practice.
Narrative spiritual care is built on the assumption that humans are shaped by the stories we tell about ourselves and each other, says Barbara Wingard in the Christian Century article. “The narrative approach to care empowers people to resist harmful discourses, to deconstruct them, and to listen instead to voices that speak wisdom and truth. Narrative spiritual conversations invite people to ask liberating questions about their own stories, questions through which people can set themselves free.”
Crafting Sacred Stories
Missioned to combat isolation, much of Sarah’s inspiration for the sacred circle comes from Harvard researcher Dr. Robert Waldinger, whose research shines the spotlight on what makes a good life. A Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and Director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest running scientific study of adult life ever conducted, has spent his career searching for the answers to these questions. He’s also author of Waldinger a new book, The Good Life, a New York Times Bestseller which shares key findings from the study.
His findings: People who stayed healthiest and lived longest were the people who had the strongest connections to others.
Sarah and her group of about 10 to 15 women are emulating a practice that’s really ancient, the ritual of women, but fell out of favor for centuries in the Western world. “This ritual of women gathering is so universal," says Sarah Waxman, founder of At the Well, a network that helps women create their own circles for a traditional Jewish meetup.
Sarah’s Sacred Circles group meets once a week and the women sip cups of tea and take turns being the “keynote sister” for the night, sharing whatever we want to share, whether that be heart wrenching personal stories or simply an interest or passion or stories from childhood.” They have also written short notes of encouragement to each other to take home and read throughout the week. “We also share prayer requests, our joys and concerns,” she says.
The result has been some compelling connections.
“People who have ‘known’ each other for years keep saying things like ‘I’ve been going to church here for thirty years and never knew these friends until I started coming to the Sacred Stories group.”
In the end, she says: “So I know the value of being heard and giving people opportunity to connect on a deeper level. It has been lifechanging.”
Adds Mary Moschella, “Narrative spiritual care is gaining currency in pastoral and practical theology because it is an empowering form of care. Narrative caregivers collaborate—from a posture of respect—with those who share their stories. In a spirit of curiosity, they offer questions to which they do not know the answers. Narrative practice works against fostering dependency on the caregiver by teaching people how to examine their own stories and find the liberating threads in them. Pastoral theologians now recognize liberation as one of the basic functions of pastoral care, in addition to the classic list that includes healing, sustaining, guiding, and reconciling.”
